7 Comedy Techniques To Turn Loss Into Laughter
Where Trauma Dumping meets Joke Structure to create Cathartic Comedy
I tore my ACL in college, and it ended my basketball career. My lifelong dream of playing professionally was over in an instant…and thank God, because LeBron definitely would’ve dunked on me and put his nuts on my forehead. In front of my whole family! My grandparents would be watching me, humiliated: “I didn’t make it through segregation to watch my grandson get tea-bagged on TV. That’s a civil rights violation, LeBron!” It’s embarrassing. I’d end up being the Rosa Parks of the NBA Nuts Boycott. - Londale Theus Jr
The attempt to turn pain into comedy can be a tricky one. You have to be psychologically flexible enough to explore alternate, sometimes opposite, and even irreverent perspectives on a touchy subject while getting the audience to go on that journey with you and to laugh at the pain. (Check out my essay about cognitive reframing and stand up comedy.)
But you can’t make ANY perspective on a negative experience a comedic one. Certain perspectives maintain tension instead of releasing it. These perspectives can make the audience agree with you, empathize with you, pity you, groan, get offended, along with a myriad of other reactions…but it won’t make them laugh.
That being said, here’s a little secret: there are certain joke structures that give you direct access to a comedic perspective, so that your attempt to turn pain into comedy can be more effective. Hallelujah!
Before we dive into joke structure, here are the 4 areas that AFFECT the EFFECT of the joke. In other words, these are the 4 areas that can influence if the joke will work or not.
4 AREAS THAT INFLUENCE A JOKE’S SUCCESS
1. PERSONAL
Are you ready to go beyond the O.P.P. (Original Pain Perspective) and explore the C.C.P. (Creative Comedic Perspective)?
It’s ok if you’re not. Some experiences are sacred, and reframing them comedically isn’t fulfilling. So if Naughty By Nature shouts “You down with O.P.P?!” and you shout back “Yeah You Know Me!” — then there’s no need to force yourself to find a joke.
But if you’re ready to turn trauma into comedy, you will have to temporarily let go of the Original Pain Perspective. Don’t worry. it’s not denying the truth of that perspective. It will always be there for you to go back to, but for comedy, it will need to take a hiatus so you can explore comedically viable perspectives.
2. STAGE PERSONA
When joking about personal experiences that are commonly viewed as traumatic or negative, in order for the audience to release that tension through laughter, they need to feel confident that you are OKAY — that you have processed it and are in a good enough place to joke about it. If they sense you are still struggling and troubled by the Original Pain Perspective, it will add tension to the room and make the audience feel pity for you instead of laugh with you.
That’s not all. Even though you are reframing the O.P.P. into the C.C.P., there still has to be a level of sincerity and honesty. You can still exaggerate, use irony, be ambivalent, but If they sense your comedic perspective is too insincere, and that you're making “cheap jokes” without acknowledging the weight of the material, it can create a disconnect with the audience as well.
3. JOKE STRUCTURE
The 7 comedy techniques in this essay focus on joke structures that are very effective for releasing tension with heavy topics. Not every joke structure is suitable for jokes involving trauma.
Having said that, this is also not a complete list. There are other joke structures that can be used for turning loss into laughter as well. I’m just sharing some insights that can simplify and clarify the process, so you don’t have to go through a bunch of trial and error with no direction on how to turn pain into comedy.
4. AUDIENCE
The same way you, as the comedian, have your O.P.P. (Original Pain Perspective) around certain topics, so does the audience. You might be joking about your experience going through chemo, and an audience member who just lost a parent to Cancer might be too attached to their O.P.P. and the joke adds tension instead of releases it. And they won’t laugh. And they may even get offended.
Likewise, another audience member could be dealing with cancer and that same joke makes them laugh and lifts them out of their O.P.P. to enjoy a few moments of levity from their heavy circumstances.
So, just like some comedians are ready to joke about traumatic experiences and some comedians are not, some audience members are ready to laugh at traumatic experiences, and some audience members are not. And both are okay. Ideally, both comedian and audience member uphold their responsibilities.
THE COMEDIAN’S RESPONSIBILITY VS. THE AUDIENCE’S RESPONSIBILITY
THE COMEDIAN’S RESPONSIBILITY to the audience is to create and perform material with clear comedic structure, with thought and intention behind it, for the goal of making people laugh. If the comedian presents sloppy material, with no clear comedic structure, and just says awful things to shock the audience, they’ve failed as a comic and are deserving of the audience's hostility.
THE AUDIENCE’S RESPONSIBILITY at a comedy show is to acknowledge that the goal is laughter. If you treat everything the comedian says as 100% serious and as literal facts, you are being disingenuous to the art form. You are allowed to be offended and to not like a joke. But if a comedian is using clear comedic structure, and it rubbed you the wrong way, and other people are laughing, then that’s your personal issue to deal with.
Making objective statements interrupting the show like “That wasn’t funny! That’s offensive!” or trying to censor the comedian, is egotistical. Your feelings are subjective, not objective. You don’t get to tell other people how to feel. If other people are laughing and enjoying it, let them. You can either choose to stay at the show, not laugh and endure it. Or you can leave and not support the comic. Both those options are completely justified.
THE 7 COMEDY TECHNIQUES & EXERCISES
😢 START WITH THE NORMAL, COMMON EMOTION
When you’re trying to develop comedic material around a traumatic experience, sometimes it’s easier to start where you’re at. Start with the original emotional attitude in the set up of the joke. This can feel more grounded and sincere as a starting point. Here are 4 different techniques of how to find punchlines from the original emotional attitude.
1. Misdirection: Common Attitude + Uncommon Reason
This is a misdirection joke structure, where the audience expects you to go in one direction, and you trick them in the punchline by going in the opposite, or at least very different direction.
🔑 Here’s How It Works:
In the set up of the joke, you establish the original, common emotional attitude towards the topic. And in the punchline, you find uncommon, unusual, or unexpected reasons for why you have that emotional attitude.
🎤 Example:
My house burned down in the fires, and I was devastated…because I didn’t get any of the hot firemen. I got the “close-to-retirement-60-year-old-fireman” that look like my dad. They did an amazing job, they’re heroes. But I wanted hotties. If I’m going to lose my house to a fire, can I at least get some spicy D from my first responders! - (Fictional example written by me)
💡 Explanation:
Instead of the normal reasons why you’d feel devastated (lost all of my cherished possessions and memories, don’t have a place to call home, etc) the punchline shifts to an uncommon reason that is based on superficial desires. This joke structure can also be described as MISPLACED PRIORITIES.
📝 Exercise:
Write down your original, common emotional attitude towards the topic/situation/experience, and if it helps, write out 2-3 NORMAL/COMMON reasons you would feel that way. Know that these are what the audience expects you to say. Your job is to break their expectation and write punchlines that are as far away from these 2-3 normal/common reasons as you can.
Here are some Unusual Reason Categories that can help you find punchlines. I’ll use “My house burned down in a fire and I’m devastated because…” for each example:
Superficial Desires
My house burned down in a fire and I’m devastated because…my neighbor got to be on CNN, and no one even interviewed me!
My house burned down in a fire and I’m devastated because…now I have to put “homeless hottie” on my Tinder profile.
Petty Consequences
My house burned down in a fire and I’m devastated because…Now I have to go back to having sex in my car.
Context Reveal - Are there any details not established that can be revealed to add an unexpected perspective? Who (people involved), What (details of the event, behavior, objects), Where (location), When (time period), Why (beliefs).
My house burned down in a fire and I’m devastated because…I built that crack house with my bare hands. (The “What” is revealed)
Misinterpretation
My house burned down in a fire and I’m devastated because…When I told my friends I’m now homeless, they were like “Oh, I thought you’ve always been homeless”
Embarrassment
My house burned down in a fire and I’m devastated because…The only clothes that survived were my assless chaps. Now people at the evacuation shelter think I have a FEMA kink.
Analogy
My house burned down in a fire and I’m devastated because…How can mother nature CTRL+ALT+DEL my home but I can’t erase my inappropriate search history on my work computer.
Double meaning
My house burned down in a fire and I’m devastated because…Now when I tell people my mixtapes were fire, they’ll think I’m bragging.
2. Juxtaposition / Odd Pairing
Juxtaposition is when two or more things are side by side exposing their contrast or incongruity. Another way to think about this is Odd Pairings.
🔑 Here’s How It Works:
In the painful experience, what unusual or absurd details were present? Start with the grounded emotional stakes of the experience, then highlight the unusual detail that shifts the focus and emotional tone. These unusual details can be objects, people, behaviors, something someone said, location, etc.
Here’s an example from Rosebud Baker (IG @rosebudbaker) talking about having a sister who died drowning and how she hates answering the question people always ask: “Where did she drown?” You can watch this joke on her IG Here.
🎤 Example:
…I have to answer that part of the question, and I hate answering that part because, here’s the thing. My sister drowned in a jacuzzi. Which is a very festive place to drown. It throws off the story, you know. It’s like getting shot in the head with a T-shirt cannon. A jacuzzi is where I lost my virginity to make it special. And she took that from me. So who's the real victim? - Rosebud Baker
💡 Explanation:
The unusual detail juxtaposed in this tragic event, is the location, a jacuzzi. And Rosebud clarifies why she thinks that’s unusual: “...a very festive place to drown.” She also uses analogy to heighten the comedy (I’ll go into more detail on this in the Analogy joke structure section).
📝 Exercise:
Write down the situation you want to explore and what your original emotional attitude was. Then write down as many unusual details surrounding that event that you can think of. Details that shift the emotional tone.
Whichever detail feels the most unusual, use that one and share your conflicting, confused, or distracted opinions about that detail in relation to the painful experience. Unusual details can be:
People
Location
Objects
Behaviors
What Was Said
3. Pure Analogy: One Size Fits All Logic
Analogy can be used several different ways in comedy, but essentially, it’s finding the similarities between two dissimilar things.
One way to use it is the way Rosebud Baker used it earlier — Pure Analogy: One Size Fits All Logic.
🔑 Here’s How It Works:
In the set up of the joke, you observe something unusual about the negative experience, and clarify why you thought it was unusual with some logic. In the punchline, you use an analogy with the same logic to exaggerate.
🎤 Example:
My sister drowned in a jacuzzi. Which is a very festive place to drown. It throws off the story, you know. It’s like getting shot in the head with a T-shirt cannon. - Rosebud Baker
💡 Explanation:
Rosebud Baker observes that her sister drowning in a jacuzzi was unusual. Her logic was “It’s a very festive place to drown” and she used an analogy with that same logic (festive ways to die) and said “that’s like being shot in the head with a T-shirt cannon” to exaggerate the humor. This clear logic allows for several alternate punchline options as well:
that’s like being choked to death by a G-String
that’s like being hit by the Magic School Bus
that’s like being stabbed by Sponge Bob
📝 Exercise:
Use a negative experience in which you observed something unusual. Clarify why you thought it was unusual with some piece of logic. Find Analogies by brainstorming a few exaggerated scenarios that share that same logic and patterns.
4. Analogy: Simile
You can use a simile to find the connection between the negative experience and another exaggerated scenario that may share the same straits.
🔑 Here’s How It Works:
Simile joke structure is comparing two very dissimilar things in the set up, and coming up with a list of traits that they both share as the punchline. Do they both share a similar action/behavior? Do they both share similar visual details/descriptors? Do you have a similar opinion or attitude about them both?
🎤 Example:
Having your house burn down in a fire is like getting a lap dance at a cheap strip club. It’s ashy. You don’t wanna pay for it. And at some point you’ll have to ask the doctor about the burning sensation you got from it. - (Fictional example written by me)
📝 Exercise:
Write down the negative experience you want to joke about — IDEA #1 — and write down a few of it’s most notable qualities, characteristics, and traits. For analogies, I’ve found that breaking down traits into these 3 categories is most helpful: Verbs, Visuals, Visceral
Verbs - What notable actions/behaviors are associated with that experience?
Visuals - What visual details or descriptions are associated with that experience?
Visceral - What emotions, attitudes, or opinions do you feel about that experience?
Then brainstorm several ideas you’d like to compare to IDEA #1. These secondary ideas should be far away from the original, and should shift the emotional tone to something more ridiculous. For IDEA #2 write down a few of it’s most notable qualities, characteristics, and traits and choose the ones that match for the original IDEA #1 too.
The Simile Joke Template goes as follows: IDEA #1 is like IDEA #2. 1st Thing They Have In Common. 2nd Thing They Have In Common. 3rd Thing They Have In Common.
😆 START WITH THE UNUSUAL, UNCOMMON EMOTION
When you are developing comedic material around a traumatic experience, starting with an unusual, uncommon, and even the opposite emotional attitude than most people would expect, creates comedic contrast in a bold way. Here are 3 different techniques of how to find punchlines from the uncommon emotional attitude.
5. Fake Praise / Positive Irony
This is used in Satire at times. Essentially you are using Positive Irony (Expressing Positive Emotions About Negative Events) to mock the negative traits of the situation.
Since comedy is contrast, saying you have a negative emotional attitude towards negative traits is normal, and there’s no comedic structure there. But creating ridiculous reasons why those negative traits are a positive, creates fun comedic tension while still acknowledging the negative consequences of the situation.
🔑 Here’s How It Works:
This joke structure starts off with a positive emotional attitude towards the painful topic, and gives reasons why the negative traits are seen as positive and beneficial.
🎤 Example:
I think racial profiling is great. I’m so tired of trying to get discovered on social media. I can just be black and drive the speed limit and I’ll get followers instantly. Why would I post content twice a day, when I can just drive past a cop once a day. I get more views from LAPD than on my IG Live. - (Fictional example written by me)
📝 Exercise:
Choose a positive emotional attitude towards the negative experience you want to joke about. Then choose 3 negative traits of that experience and justify why those negative traits are actually beneficial.
6. Juxtaposition + Fake Praise / Positive Irony
Another way to think about this joke structure, is to juxtapose two dissimilar experiences in such a way that the negative traits would be seen as a positive. Ask yourself the question: What else would make the negative aspects of this experience beneficial? What dissimilar experience has similar traits but they are viewed as a positive?
🔑 Here’s How It Works:
Juxtapose another ridiculous context with the painful experience in such a way that it transforms the negative traits into a benefit.
🎤 Example:
Here’s an example from Jamar Neighbor’s (IG @jamar_neighbors) special “Rotten Luther King Jr” - you can watch the joke here:
More n***as should do ecstasy. So at least when we get beat by the cops, that shit feels good. [Acts out getting beat by a cop and turned on by it] ‘Oh hell yeah officer.’ [Hit] ‘Oh hell yeah officer.’ [Cop: ‘Don’t make me get them dogs on you!’] ‘Tell em to bite me in my ass. Oh hell yeah. I’m about to cum in your backseat.’ - Jamar Neighbors
💡 Explanation:
Negative Trait - getting beat by police
New Context - Ask yourself, what other context would make beating feel good? Jamar uses ecstasy, and the heightened sensory and sexual effects of ecstasy.
Juxtaposition - He then juxtaposes those two dissimilar contexts, to create the comedy.
📝 Exercise:
Write down the painful experience, and a few negative traits of that experience. Then write down other scenarios where those same traits are viewed as a positive. Then see how you can juxtapose the two. Here’s an example using the “house burned down” negative experience.
House burned down from the fires
Negative trait - lost most of my belongings
New Context - What other context is losing things seen as a positive?
Losing weight
Juxtapose
The best time to be on a weight loss journey is during a natural disaster. My house burned down in the fires and when I tell people “I lost everything” they’re like “Yaas queen, i can tell, you look great honey!”
7. Uncommon Attitude (Hot Take)
This joke structure relies on you having an alternate, uncommon perspective on the negative topic, and defending/proving your “hot take” with logic.
The “hot take” should shift the emotional tone of the common perspective that most people have.
Many times you can start with the joke by acknowledging the common perspective, and then contrasting it with your hot take.
🔑 Here’s How It Works:
Contrast the common perspective with an unusual, uncommon emotional attitude towards the negative experience and give reasons why you feel that way.
🎤 Example:
Here’s an example from Mike Birbiglia’s (IG @birbigs) special “The Good Life” where he talks about his father having a stroke and visiting him in the hospital - you can watch the special on Netflix:
…he can’t move half of his body and he can’t really speak. And the neurologist came in and she goes ‘Vince, we’re going to do a Spinal Tap.’ And my dad happens to be a retired neurologist. So from the condition he was in, he suggested a type of spinal tap. He goes [slurred speech] ‘Guided Spinal Tap.’ Which is impressive. But also a good example of how controlling my dad is. I’m watching a half dead neurologist. Tell a fully alive neurologist how to do her job. That is next level mansplaining. That’s dead mansplaining. - Mike Birbiglia
💡 Explanation:
On the surface, the common perspective is “that’s impressive.” But Mike shifts to his alternate perspective of how this is an example of how controlling his dad is. And connecting it to mansplaining heightens the comedy as well.
📝 Exercise:
Start off with the negative experience and establish what the common perspective is (the common emotional attitude).
Then brainstorm all the alternate, uncommon perspectives (emotional attitudes), or “hot takes” you can think of and give reasons why you feel that way.
A very broad template is: This [negative experience] happened and most people feel [common emotional attitude]. But I feel [uncommon emotional attitude] because [give reasons].
CONCLUSION
Those are a few techniques you can use to turn loss into laughter. Some of the techniques lend themselves towards earnestness and sincerity in the set up, before shifting perspectives in the punchline. While others start off with uncommon, and even irreverent perspectives from the start.
From my years of performing and teaching stand up, I’ve found that if the structure and technique is clear, that’s about 90% of the battle. If the joke still doesn’t land, it’s usually due to the audience’s response to your persona — you come across as troubled and unsettled about the painful experience and it makes them pity you — or it’s due to their own painful attachment to the topic that won’t allow them to laugh with you.
The good news is, you can adjust your performance so that your persona is more effective, so the only legitimate variable is the audience’s personal attachment to the Original Pain Perspective. In other words, if they’re down with O.P.P! You gotta let them be!
Trust me, If your jokes are tight, there is an audience out there who will need the laughter you provide. Keep writing. Keep performing.
By the way, I'm still collecting signatures for the NBA Nuts Boycott. No hooper deserves to get tea-bagged on TV in front of their family. My forehead, My Choice. Email NBANutsBoycott@NBANutsBoycott.com to join the movement.
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So helpful 🫰🏼🫰🏼